If I only knew….

In general, I try to live my life without regrets.  I try to invest in relationships and not take things for granted.  But this year… 

 You know what I mean.  I don’t have to tell you.  Even though I may never meet you, I can imagine that at some time in the last 8 months, you have looked out a window and also said to yourself, “If I only knew.” 

 I’ve spent the last 8 months digging myself out of disappointment with gratitude, but sometimes we just need to acknowledge the losses.  Not to sit in self-pity, but to be able to say it out loud and move on. 

 So today, when I say, “If I only knew what this year would have held,” it comes down to hugs.  I would have hugged extended family a little tighter and a little longer last Christmas.  I would have hugged everyone on the way out of church in February.  Heck, I would have come to both services on a Sunday just so I could hug everyone I know.  I would have stood on that back deck on August 1 and hugged a little bit longer.  I might even have thrown caution to the wind and hugged at my Grandma’s funeral in April.   

 My dad taught me to shake hands like I mean it.  In fact, when I was a college student in a factory, I had a middle-aged executive ask to shake my hand again.  HA!  He was surprised that such a handshake could come from this little slip of a girl.  

 That carries over to hugs.  I hug like I mean it.  When my arms embrace someone, my heart does too.  I don’t think it is boastful to say that I’m a good hugger.  Hmmm…maybe I should even put it on my resume.   

 Thankfully, I have not contracted Covid-19.  But part of me, wishing to be on the other side of it (I don’t want to get sick, mind you and I’m not being reckless, to be clear), would set up a Hug Station.  I would give them for free and I have a feeling the line might be around the building like the Black Fridays of old. 

 Arms aching, 

Heather Smith 

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