Week two. How are you doing? My natural inclination (survival instinct) is to look for the positive. More time at home means more:
Family – they seem nice!
Cooking — who knew cauliflower and sweet potato tacos could be so good?
Exercise — see above cooking!
I am an essential employee (who doesn’t want to hear that?!) who can work from home, so my commute is fabulous. Church was on YouTube, so I could worship in my new uniform of athleisure wear (it might be time to try those jeans on). I have food, toilet paper has been delivered, and my house is clean. So I can stay home and stay safe.
Yet…
I am unsettled. Sunday morning before our virtual service I sat on my couch and cried. My husband is also an essential employee, a nurse, his job is becoming a riskier profession every day. People are losing their jobs, businesses are closing their doors, and so many are getting sick. There is uncertainty and I don’t know if things will ever go back to normal.
A friend sent me an article that brought light to what I was feeling: grief. I hadn’t identified it that way, but it makes sense. The five stages of grief (Elisabeth Kublar Ross and David Kessler) are:
Denial: This Coronavirus thing won’t affect us.
Anger: Why is this messing with all of my plans?
Bargaining: I will stay in my house for three weeks as long as that means my life can get back to normal.
Depression: Will life ever be the same? Will we survive this?
Acceptance: I can handle this and find the best way to move forward.
No, it doesn’t necessarily happen in that order. I feel like I have bounced around all of these stages! I’m sad that my daughter’s college graduation commencements have been cancelled, but feel guilty because others have it so much worse. Do I deserve to feel sad? Yes, I do. It is ok to acknowledge your feelings and hang out with them for a bit. Then, look around and see the good that adversity has brought out in us as we work together to feed the hungry, heal the sick and comfort those in grief. Heather gave a lot of excellent advice last week (At Home: Week #1) but the best was to read Philippians 4. I leave you with this…
Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. Philippians 4:6-7 The Message
Stay safe. Be well.
With love, Debbie
