It was 86 degrees, not a single cloud in the sky, I was up on a roof, the roofing shingles were melting under my feet (yes, they melt). I was wearing gloves because everything I touched was burning hot. Making matters worse, this was the second day. The previous day, my husband and I were up on that roof from 5:40 AM until 8 PM (with a 3-hour break in the middle so we didn’t die of a heat stroke); it appeared that today was going to be the same as yesterday.
Let me explain: My husband and I had just bought a house that needed a new roof. My husband miscalculated how much time it was going to take. He thought his brother and him would be able to finish the job over the weekend; however, Monday came and my house had no shingles. Unfortunately, the weather predicted that Monday and Tuesday were going to be extremely hot, and that there would be severe thunderstorms on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. My husband’s brother could only help us on Tuesday morning. We had no choice: I took the days off from work, climbed up the ladder, and started nailing shingles—it was horrible.
Two weeks ago, I wrote about being a Proverbs 31 wife , last week Debbie spoke about seeing your husband through God’s eyes ; needless to say, I did neither during those two days of roofing—temperature and tempers were running high, choice words were said. During one of our arguments my husband said “it could be worse.” Worse, that word made think of our vows “For better or FOR WORSE.” Maybe it was the Holy Spirit reminding me of my vows.
I didn’t have time to process everything until Wednesday (which I also took off because I was exhausted). It is very easy to be a loving couple when we are in “Better”. How about when we are in our “Worse”?
What do we say? How do we say it? How do we blame?
Marriage is complicated. Sometimes we make mistakes or miscalculations; we are going to get angry at our spouse—I don’t think there is a way to stop that. However, It is important is that we have a plan in place to deal with our “Worse”?
I mentioned that we had to take a break in the middle of the day, so we didn’t have a heat stroke. During that break we drank a lot of water and took a cold shower (I also had time to read my Bible)—our moods definitely improved after the break.
Maybe the situation doesn’t allow for you and your spouse to take break for a few hours. However, I still recommend that you take a small break from the heat, even if it’s just five minutes; you can pray to God to give you patience and remind you of your vows and your love for each other. Let God be the cool water and/or cold shower.
Keep working together, keep loving and treat marriage like a verb not a noun.
- We did finish the roof on Tuesday, at 9:40 pm with a flashlight. In fact the picture for this post is the a picture of our house. Do you like it?