When you look at your spouse, what do you see? A friend, partner, ally or maybe a stranger. Sometimes in the busyness of life, you may feel more like a tag team getting kids to events or saying a quick good night as you collapse into bed exhausted from the day. Maybe you are thinking, “Look at him? I barely see him!” It can be far too easy to lose connection and in the process look at your spouse with tired eyes that only see dirty socks on the floor or rotting trash that hasn’t been taken out for days. How do we look with different eyes?
I had the opportunity earlier this summer to see my husband through someone else’s eyes. He is a PICU (Pediatric Intensive Care) nurse and one Saturday we were invited to a birthday party and a graduation party for two of his patients. To be honest, the idea of going to a party where I know no one is not my idea of fun, but I could tell that my husband really wanted to go and have me by his side. The parties were both a bit of a drive but not far from each other, so we headed out and had the first opportunity in weeks to talk uninterrupted. A good opportunity to catch up and reconnect.
The first event was for a sweet little girl who refers to my husband as “Stinky”. He has taken care of her many times and she holds a special place in his heart. Her parents hugged us both and couldn’t tell me enough how great my husband is and how much they appreciate him. You could tell that my husband had taken the time to get to know them and make a connection. When they are at their worst, he is at his best. Next stop was the graduation party for a young man who has been battling cancer. As we looked through the pictures and hockey jerseys decorating the tent, my husband was able to tell me all about this young man, his interests and plans for the future. Once again we were greeted with hugs, jokes about our rival colleges and comments on how awesome my husband is and how much they love him. The mom also said something that surprised me. “You must be a pretty amazing person, because for your husband to be who he is, he must have a special wife behind him.” Well that was humbling! I hadn’t thought about how I treat my husband impacts others.
I will be the first to admit that I get busy and take my spouse for granted. Sometimes I get annoyed by small things that he does or doesn’t do. We have been together for 28 years and this month we will celebrate our 26th wedding anniversary. I love my husband dearly, but the distractions of life sometimes cloud my vision. It was a gift to be able to stop and get a new perspective and to see him through another’s eyes.
What if when I am blinded to my husband’s attributes, I chose to see him through God’s eyes?
How would I see him?
Child of God – Redeemed – New Creation – Chosen – Friend
How will that affect how I relate to him?
Who else might that impact?